I wiggle into a pair of shorts, struggle to zip them up and then study my reflection in the mirror.
Crap. Crap. Crap.
What did I eat this winter to cause THIS? A bus full of freaking cookie dough?!
My thighs look like two large loafs of pasty dough… smooching each other passionately. As I study them, my heart flutters rapidly. My stomach feels sick.
I can’t go outside like this. I slowly sit on the edge of my bed, mind buzzing.
It’s warfare Katie.
I hunch over my legs, irrate. “S-cuse me?”
It’s warfare. Pick up your sword and fight.
You know the truth, speak it out loud.
I curl myself into a ball, tempted to disappear underneath my covers until the end of summer.
I roll my eyes and hold back tears of frustration. “I am beautiful to my heavenly Father. My identity isn’t in what people think of me… their ideas and opinions are fickle. I am loved, no matter what size my pants are.”
Continue, my girl.
I fiddle with my fingers, trying to force out the discomfort. “My Father has a good purpose for me. He is going to change the world through me. I am beautiful. I am beautiful. I am beautiful, no matter what other people think of my legs.”
Yes. Daughter, I love you more than you can imagine. I made those legs and they’re perfect. Satan uses this world to skew the truth about who you are and try to take your power. Don’t let it. Fight! Fight! You have more power than you think.
I stretch myself across my bed and sigh deeply, resolute but shaky. No matter what it takes, I will learn God’s truth over the world’s opinion.
I know this. I almost lost my life to these lies.
I twist myself over, roll to standing and step out of the room.
I need to listen to and walk in the truth… it’s the only way to truly live free.
I get it.
Life gets busy, other obligations take our attention. Negative thoughts about ourselves pop up and overwhelm us but we’re tired so instead of fighting, we surrender to them and allow them to permeate our minds.
My friends, we are in a war and only one side is going to win.
Remember, it takes time and effort but YOU have the power to choose which thoughts you dwell on.
For your sake, sit down for five minutes a day. In those five minutes take something you don’t believe about yourself and repeat it over yourself.
My thighs are healthy and strong.
My worth is not determined by the size of my muffin top.
My Father has everything I could ever need, including affirmation.
People don’t have to find my attractive.
I am confident.
I went up a jean size, and that’s okay! I am not my jean size.
Daughter of the King, you are not your jean size. You are not the length and style of your hair. You are not the clothes you wear or the house you live in. You are the Daughter of the most wealthy, knowledgeable, wise Father who has ever lived.
Ask Him what He sees today. Ask Him to fill those insecurities and deep needs to feel loved and accepted. He will send people your way. He will show you how precious you are, trust me.
You are worth it. You are more than enough.
You are His.
I love you and am rooting for you… Beautiful Daughter <3