Holy cheese curds. Look at that. I analyze my reflection with sure scrutiny, nitpicking every detail. From my weirdly curled toes to the lumpy mole on my cheek.
I told myself I wouldn’t do this. Just last week, I tacked a reminder up on my mirror. I repeated verses to myself for a good portion of yesterday and soaked in God’s presence. I worshiped with God’s people and meant it.
Did my strength just dissolve into the air?
What the heck is wrong with me? I know all the right things to do. Why can’t I just be strong?
I slump onto my bed, heart in my throat.
“God, I’m sorry.”
It doesn’t take long before His strong arms encircle my shoulders. His voice deep, melodious, rich with compassion and understanding.
At His voice saying my name, the tears come. Unceremonious, sobbing, choking, contrived from the depths of my impossible longing to belong. The pain feels sharp and unquenchable.
As the tears start to slow, He stands. He gently takes my arms and starts to move to an inaudible concerto.
This is honestly the last thing I want to do.
I try tucking my stomach into my pants and pulling back but His strong arms spin me off my seat. Our feet move to an unsung song. His eyes dance as they stay locked on mine.
As our footfalls cease, I get a good look at Him. His smile is so bright, His hair is tossed over his hazel eyes. The eyes that create and command galaxies with their power.
“Katie, you’re so beautiful.”
I almost choke on air. “Me? Have you seen the other stuff You’ve made?” He hoists me up and swings me around.
“Yes! I created you specifically and I’m in love with every part of who you are. My girl, I love you so much!”
I gasp as the room spins into a conglomerate of shapes and colour. A giggle trickles from my lips. He meets me in raucous laughter.
“Katie, lies don’t frighten or intimidate me. Your supposed imperfections don’t scare me away. I’ve already beat them for you. Choose to believe truth over the world’s lies.” I nod and look into His hazel eyes.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
As we’re about to leave my room, I turn to Him. “Dance again soon?”
He loops His arm around mine. “Obviously.” I grin, my heart bursting. He gets me.
Beautiful friend, ask Him to dance with you in your pain. Allow the King of the Universe to sweep you off your feet. Be enraptured by His love as you choose to spend time with Him, pouring your heart out to His tender kindness.
He will always fill the broken places, no matter how hopeless they seem. He longs for you to know how loved you are. He longs to dance with you, His uniquely crafted Beloved.
Approach this Monday with the assurance that He is standing with you, watching over you with love like you’ve never known.
With much love,