So, we want to talk about the beloved intricacies of a whirlwind also known as dating? Ooooo. Friend, can I be starch-as corn-honest and super real with you? Staying pure of thought and action is not easy when the other sex is involved. I get it, men’s forearms are great! Ahem. Yeah, it can be a tough sport even when you’re married.
Because I love you all and find much joy in sharing the journey, I’ve written some advice for you to think about when you’re dating someone or considering dating in the future. These tips come from my own experience, heartache and grandiose mistakes. The really great thing is that God has made all those terrible choices melt into a giant ocean of grace. Even if you flub during your journey, He will grant the exact same grace to you. If you don’t remember anything from this little chat, pllllease remember this: you are precious beyond measure and loved beyond possible comparison. Nothing you do will separate you from Christ’s love for you. That being said, let’s learn how to make choices that will make God’s heart happy and lead you into a life of great joy and fulfillment.
My Advice (earned through buckets of tears, incessant screaming at innocent trees and wild fantasies of slashing the tires of the “Cheater”).
Numero Uno: Relationship with Christ is KEY. Perhaps you’ve heard this 5 million times. Yeah, there’s a reason for that. I can’t stress this piece of advice STRONGLY enough so please, hear me out. When you cultivate a strong relationship with the Lord you learn more about who you are. When you know who you are, a cherished son or daughter of the Most High God, you will grow to love who you are. When you can love you, you’re capable of loving others in the way He has called us to love others. Seriously, from the health of your friendship with the Creator, all others flow. Very good things come when you respect yourself and others. Also, He’s a great One to bounce ideas off of. I.E: should I date this person, should I skip? Trust me. I trusted Him and He brought me the best man I could have ever asked for <3 Legit, he’s just as weird as me, if not weirder, and that if you know me, even just a smidge, you’ll know that’s a tough find.
Obedience over passion. First of all, don’t tempt yourself. If sitting downstairs watching Netflix under a comfy blanket with your bae (do people use that word anymore?) is going to get you started down a path of uh-oh, then don’t do it! It breaks God’s heart when we do stuff like that. Not because He’s an angry old man who hates joy. Au contraire. He wants us to enjoy life to the fullest, the way He designed it. See, He knows that the pleasure of the moment is never worth the bond you form with that other person. If you do decide to break things off it’s going to be SO much harder than had you kept obedience at the forefront. Even if you stay with that person, it takes some time to unlearn physical touch as the pinnacle of the relationship. If you want a path filled with joy and freedom to the fullest, learn what He says about purity and follow it. I wish I had done that right off the bat! It would have saved myself many miles of heartache.
Set mutually accepted boundaries. All actions start with thought. If you both agree that a boundary is not okay to cross, you agree to not cross it. When tempted, remember who this person is. They are a son or a daughter of the Most High God. Out of love, their Father is watching and waiting to see if you will treat that person with the kind of respect they deserve.
Allow others into your life who are willing to keep you accountable. When you have a boundary set, let others know about it. Not every Tom, Jim and Lacy have to be aware of the lines you’ve drawn in the sand but be intentional. Pick people you can trust to hold you to the high standards you are worthy of. Back in the day, a friend of mine told me he would owe his sibling $100 if he made a move on my other friend, the girl he was dating. Every time he made a move that crossed the boundary line he and my other friend had set he would owe $100 more than what he previously paid. The plan was genius. Let’s just say, they didn’t spend a swack load of nights together intertwined in front of the TV.
Listen to those who love you. If the people you love and trust are telling you your new boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t the best choice for you, listen to them. Hear them out. Please don’t get defensive. I would always put my guard up whenever my mother would try to tell me something about my new, fancy love interest. I never listened and paid for my choice. Thankfully my mother has always been gracious enough to never say, “told ya so.”
Well friendos, that’s it for now. If you think of any blog posts you would like me to write on, I would be honoured! Feel free to shoot me a message on Facebook or send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
Double chins and love from the masters of weird.