It’s first thing in the morning when I step inside our kitchen.
The smell of toasting bread and the swinging of our fridge door alerts me to Alex’s presence. His tall torso leans into the fridge.
I clear my froggy, foggy throat. “Morning babe.” He stands quickly, grunts and shoots me a half-awake smile.
I step over Alex, snatch a bag of bananas from the freezer and start making my smoothie. Plop. One of the banana pieces falls from the bag onto the counter. I pick it up. It’s covered in crumbs.
He just made toast. I leave it. Surely Alex will remember the plea I have made a hundred times at least. Surely he will notice and clean it later this morning. Or maybe tonight or tomorrow. Or, as usual, not.
I groan, shake my head and walk upstairs. Agitated about something I should let go, but can’t.
As I turn the corner, I catch a glimpse of a wordy plaque on our wall. Alex wrote it over a span of months, memorized every word and recited it to me when he proposed to me. A small excerpt from the poem goes like this:
“A flame, flickering – gentle and delicate, beautiful – lighting up a whole room; darkness made aglow. So are you, my darling, my love, as you minister to hearts with each social show.
Yet the delicacy may I hold with care, for as a flame can be smothered blown, your heart too, must be guarded as it is worn; whether on your sleeve or with time, I choose to tend you, sweet Darling, treasured love, mine.”
I wipe two trails of tears streaming down my cheeks. Alex, the bread slayer, the one who often forgets my requests, loves me.
Sometimes I am too occupied with all that’s going wrong to notice what is good.
I make my way into my room, take three huge sips of my cherry smoothie and sink into my bed, ready for my favorite time of the day.
“Good-morning Father. I have so many questions for you… things aren’t going as planned.” A wave of His peace floods me. I squeeze my eyes shut and exhale then I hear His voice, a gentle whisper in my soul.
“Katie-bug. I love you. I love you. I love you. Remember your first love.” I open my eyes and stare at my eggshell colored bible.
Memories of Him holding me when I was deathly sick, aching from my parents split, feeling rejected by all my friends hit me like a tidal wave.
He was there through all of it, bandaging my wounds and speaking truth.
His voice is so gentle. “I don’t change. I’ll never change.”
At His words, something inside me is piqued. Just because my circumstances are challenging does not mean my God’s perfect character has changed.
James 1:17 – Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.
Hebrews 13:8 – Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Malachi 3:6 – “For I, the LORD, do not change.”
Regardless of the circumstances, may you reflect on what your first Love has done for you. Trust that because His character does not change, He will ALWAYS work things out for the good of those who love Him.
He is more real than the air we breathe and He alone has the power to save and empower you in life’s many struggles.
This is a great song to listen to as you spend time with Him <3