One of the things I admire most about women is our natural ability to nurture. When a friend is in need, we’re there to help. When someone is struggling we have an innate ability to encourage and build them up with our God-given intuition; Women are graceful, beautiful, loving creatures.
God lovingly created Eve to be Adam’s perfect helper. God presented Eve to Adam like a gift and in every way, she complimented his strengths and weaknesses. He was proud of what He had made for His son.
“ And the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He made (fashioned, formed) into a woman, and He brought her and presented her to the man.”
-Genesis 2:22 (AMP)
If you read the entire passage carefully you’ll notice God didn’t create Eve so she could help Adam tend to the garden. God was looking for a companion. A friend. A partner.
Given our nature, what happens when our “Adam” abandons us or treats us badly? What happens to our gentle, empathetic nature?
Abandonment and mistreatment can come in plenty of ways but some of the ones that come to mind are: being emotionally unavailable, prioritizing work, pornography addiction, infidelity, always putting others needs before yours, controlling or manipulative behavior, drug or alcohol addiction, bullying… the list goes on.
No longer protected, in our vulnerability, we turn into protectors. Our desire to be confident for our “Adam” turns into a ferocity unlike no other.
They say we have the mind of Christ, I believe God gets fierce about His women not being protected. Just like our earthly Fathers, God wants to protect us. He gave us this inner warrior spirit, which is stronger than a man’s by the way (seriously, watch a woman in divorce court as she fights for her children) because it protects us.
I speak from experience because I know how it feels to be abandoned and mistreated; I’m married to an addict. Through my experience with my husband, my inner fighter came out. It’s not the first time I’ve seen her but she’s much stronger than she was the last time she came out swinging her protective fists of fury!
Being married to an addict has been more difficult than I can properly put into words but because of it, I’ve learned how to be both gentle and strong at the same time. This is the true character of God and how He created His daughters to be. He is both merciful and just. Patient but firm. Loving and powerful. And you, sister, have that inside of you too.
We’re taught to believe we were only created to be companions. To perfectly to compliment our husbands (or future husbands) weaknesses. While this is partially true, it’s only a piece of our nature. We were also created in the image of God for another purpose entirely. When we’re abandoned by our, “Adam” we learn that God is the one we were really created for.
God first. Adam second.
“Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation.”
-Psalm 146:3 (KJV)
No one will ever love us like God will. He’s the true love of our life. When we love God and make Him the center of our purpose He will give us the “Adam” we need.
For me, I’m still hoping he’ll give me my husband back. The handsome man I fell in love with was my perfect companion and I was his perfect helper. God told me to stand by my husband through a hard season in his life. Whatever happens next, my identity is not found in the success or failures of my husband, it’s found in who God made me to be.
While my husband is still lost, I am found.
I’m thankful God gave me a gentle, nurturing nature. It’s helped me to support my “Adam” in ways I wouldn’t of otherwise. I’m also glad he gave me this spirit of fierceness because that fighting spirit has protected me from significant harm. Our natural tendency to nurture can work hand in hand with our strength.
If you’re a woman, going through anything tough, I encourage you to remember your strength is gentle but by no means is it weak. Many may have been made physically strong but your inner spirit is a powerful force to be reckoned with. You have the Spirit of God inside of you, you’re His daughter. Do you see how incredible you are? What wonderful, amazing gifts He’s given you? You were created in His likeness. He was proud of you when He made you.
So proud, he presented you as a gift.
Leah Grey moved to New York City full of hopeful aspirations until her husband went into long-term treatment for addiction. Unable to afford to stay, she picked up her childhood dreams and moved back to her rural, Canadian beach town with her two young children. From rooftop city skyline views to her parent’s basement, in the darkest time of her life, she created Grey Ministries to support, encourage and empower women with loved ones who struggle with addiction. With a practical faith-based approach she challenges popular beliefs about addiction while teaching women in crisis how to find God’s peace within the storms of life. In March 2016, she launched her website, leahgrey.com and popular peer support community, “Live, Love, Hope” http://facebook.com/groups/livelovehope.