You’d think I’m auditioning to be Mr. Clean or something. Sophie squints her eyes at the blinding white bulbs overheard. She avoids the sharp price tag as she slides a cotton shirt around her shoulders and midsection, cringing as it outlines the flesh on her stomach.
The piercing light above casts a harsh glare on her white skin. She stares at her paleness then down at her bulging belly.
As usual, there sits the all malevolent child. The evil food baby that never went away.
What was I thinking, picking this shirt? It would work on almost any of my friends, but not me.
She grits her teeth, takes a deep breath and meets her eyes in the mirror. “I am beautiful… God says I am.”
She avoids looking at herself in the mirror as she slips the shirt back over her head and replaces it with her own clothes. As unsightly as it is, her faded sweater is warm, comfortable and safe. Sophie snatches the other shirts and their hangers before slipping outside the dressing room.
A girl with bright lipstick and tight jeans greets her with a fake smile. A backstage pass sized name tag hangs from her neck. Janice. “How was everything hun?” asks Janice.
Sophie tenses a little and forces a tight smile. “Nothing today, thanks.” What is it with people the same age calling each other “hun?”
Janice takes the clothes, fake smile as bright as ever. “Have a great day.” Sophie nods and blazes out of the store, past all the posters of thin models, her head held high.
Once outside, she stumbles towards a bench and plops onto it.
Why is it so difficult to love myself? I know what God says so why do I keep slipping up and hating who I am?
She looks down at her legs, tears pricking her eyes.
Will I ever love me?
Dearest Daughter, subjecting your thoughts to truth is one of the most challenging things you will ever do.
But it is also the most valuable.
For those of us living in a world jam packed with smatterings of Victoria Secret shrines, walls of Instagram duck faces and plastic bodies, we understand the pressure.
Similar to running a marathon, building up truth in yourself takes intentional, consistent endurance because you are going against the normal, sedentary state of your body.
In the same way, it takes focus but learning the truth about yourself and repeating it without compromise is the best thing you will ever do for yourself.
If you speak truth bit by bit, time and time again, you are going to feel and realize the freedom you already have!
When keeping your thoughts in check becomes exhausting, you must extract the most powerful weapon you wield.
That is: the knowledge of the profound love and purpose God has for you.
“God loves me with an everlasting love. He promises to give me a hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 31:3, Jeremiah 29:11.
In other words, when you stop running the race and fail to remember who you are, God remembers. He knows who you have been designed to be. He sees your dreams and destiny. When you choose to reflect on the truth about who He says you are, you will start seeing yourself in a different light.
Worldly expectations of yourself will melt away.
He also knows that the places you struggle with most are going to be your greatest places of testimony and power.
My beautiful friend, don’t give up loving yourself because it’s difficult. You will encounter difficulty but “do not fear because Jesus has overcome the world.”
He has already won for you. You just need to repeat those truths until you believe them.
When shame creeps in and tells you you are never enough, do not let it. It has no right. Hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:5
Beautiful Daughters, keep fighting the good fight and speaking the truth over yourself even when you don’t feel it.
Realize the power you have been given and exercise it. It will pay off in the end.
Freedom is here! All you must do is reach up and take what is rightfully yours!
The truth… that YOU take the King’s breath away.