I sit on my couch, head in my hands. My lungs are wheezing with phlegm. My heart aching with doubt. “God, I am tired of being sick and tired! Where are you? Why don’t I feel you close to me? Am I significant? If not in this world then am I at least in Your eyes?” I turn my eyes to the window. The warmth of the sun hasn’t filtered through in at least three days. The wind outside blows treacherously. I am trapped in my house, trapped in my mind, ensnared in my fears and feelings of insignificance.
“God! Please, come and bring peace. Help me forget all my plans and ideas. At this point, peace is all I long for. A tear streams down my cheek. I stop, wipe it away and am about to angrily smear it on my pants when I feel a beam of light on my skin. Three streams of light filter through the blinds and onto my cold flesh.
I push my hair from my eyes and sit up a little straighter. He is in the room, sitting beside me. Waiting for me to notice Him. The warmth of His Fatherly presence fills my stomach with ecstasy. I am in the presence of the Almighty King; the Creator of all things. At His voice and touch I am in awe. My sore throat squeaks a response.
A medium-sized bottle appears on the cushion beside me. It is an aquamarine colour yet transparent.
“Father, what is this?” He looks at me, smiles and lifts it with his right hand. A tiny ladybug encrusted with black and white diamonds appears near the center of the container’s glass. On the lip, rubies, garnets and diamonds sparkle brilliantly. In the center of the bottle are waves etched in delicate gold patterns. Their color so vivid I can see them moving gently, being pushed and pulled by the tides of the moon. The vial is beautiful.
The Father’s voice is wrought with emotion. Daughter. This is where I keep all your tears. A fresh onslaught threatens to trickle down my face in invasive streams. I grit my teeth and hold them back. I try to avoid His glance but His eyes. Oh, those eyes. I start to cry. He places the bottle beneath my face, allowing every tear to drop into the existing pool. When I am finished, I look up. He gently lifts my chin with His large hand.
I will never leave you or forsake you. Every word you speak to Me, I hear. I listen. I care. I am always here. I will never abandon you. I will never forsake you. You are mine.
I close my eyes, feel the warmth of the sun on my face and breathe in deeply. I am ready to face a new day, knowing my King tucks the reminders of my pain close to His side.
Trials come in our lives, it is inevitable. But through everything we face He is faithful to listen, care for us and bring us wisdom for a solution. If you’re exhausted and or feeling down, remember His promise: “I (Jesus) will never leave or forsake you. I will be with you even until the end of the age.”
He loves you more than you could ever imagine and keeps tracks of your sorrows. He collects “all your tears in His bottle” (Psalm 56:8) and will see you through the hard times.
Peace and blessings,